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Naperville divorce and family law attorneyMany divorced individuals reported the conversation of asking for divorce as one of the most stressful conversations they have ever had. When you ask your spouse for a divorce, you are essentially telling your spouse that you are no longer in love with them, which can be hard for anyone to hear. Breaking the news of divorce can become even more difficult if you have children. Even though a divorce is an adult problem, children are often caught in the middle of the turmoil. The initial conversation you have with your child about your divorce can set the stage for how they will cope with the divorce throughout the process. When you go to have that conversation with your child, here are a few tips to use:

Act as a United Front With Your Spouse 

Even though it may be the last thing you want to do, you and your spouse should act as a team when you have this conversation with your children. You should break the news of your divorce when both of you are together and all of your children are present. Work out and agree on what you will say beforehand so you can avoid any emotionally fueled or impulsive remarks.

Explain the Situation to Your Children in Words They Understand

Your child will want to know why you are getting a divorce, and it is your job as a parent to explain it to them in a way that they will comprehend. As an adult, you understand the complexities surrounding the divorce, but your child(ren) will not and will question why mom and dad do not love each other anymore. The information that you tell your child will depend on their age and ability to understand. Obviously, younger children will suffice with simpler information, while older children will naturally want to know more.

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Will County divorce attorney

Divorce is a difficult topic for everyone to stomach. For adults, divorce can be unpleasant to talk about and distressing for the couple who is actually going through the divorce. When you add children into the picture, it can become a much more delicate situation to handle. For children, being in the middle of their parents going through a divorce can be scary and unnerving. Many parents worry about how their kids will cope with their divorce, but children tend to be more resilient than we give them credit for. Studies have shown that children tend to grow up to lead happy and healthy lives as long as their parents did not subject them to regular conflict. There are many things that you can do as a parent to help your children through this difficult time in both of your lives. 

Tips for Easing the Transition

Here are a few things you can do to help your child cope with the difficulties that can come with your divorce:

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DuPage County divorce attorney parenting plan

When it comes to divorce, there are many issues that have the potential to cause quite a bit of conflict between the two individuals involved in this divorce. From property division to child support, these issues appear in nearly every Illinois divorce case. However, the issues that have the most potential to cause an argument for many couples are those that have to deal with the children. Creating a parenting plan can be a long and daunting process for parents who do not get along, but parents are typically much happier and have a better chance of sticking to the parenting plan when they are able to negotiate the terms of said agreement amongst themselves. Although this is easier said than done, there are ways to achieve a positive outcome for everyone involved.

Flexibility Is Key

For some couples, getting along long enough to negotiate a parenting plan is a tall order. Here are a few tips that can help you negotiate a parenting plan agreement with your ex:

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DuPage County divorce lawyerEach year, there are millions of divorces that take place across the country. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the latest data shows that there were an estimated 2.9 divorces for every 1,000 people in the United States in 2018. While that number has decreased somewhat since 2000—when the rate was an estimated 4.0 divorces for every 1,000 people—divorce still remains a common occurrence in our country. Many of these divorces involve children and bring along a litany of issues that must be settled because of it. Parents often wonder how their divorce will affect their children and what they can do to prevent any effects from taking hold. If you are going through an Illinois divorce with your children, here are a few things you should keep in mind:

  • Avoid fighting in front of your children at all costs. It is not the divorce itself that is the cause of the stress and other long-term effects in children, such as anger, depression, and school/social difficulties. Multiple studies have shown that it may actually be exposure to conflict and arguments that cause these negative consequences to take root. You should try to avoid arguments or other fights until you and your spouse are away from your children or alone.

  • Do not speak negatively about your spouse to your child. Your child does not care what happened during your marriage. All your child knows is that you and your spouse are mom and dad and that you are loved very much. Your child deserves to maintain a positive image of both parents without the other parent attempting to spoil that.

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Plainfield divorce attorney

“We need to talk.” Those four words have so much power and weight to them, especially when you are in a romantic relationship with someone. The conversation that you must have when you tell your spouse that you want a divorce can be extremely difficult. It often requires you to face the conflict head-on and outwardly admit that you are unhappy in your marriage. Even though it is not a conversation you necessarily want to have, it is a conversation that you must have if you are thinking about ending your legal union with your spouse. Whether you and your spouse have tried to make the marriage work for years or the marriage is simply over, having this conversation is the first step in initiating the divorce process. 

Tips to Consider Before Discussing the Subject

Telling your partner that you want a divorce should not be done on a whim or out of anger. It should be approached after careful consideration and preparation. Here are a few important things to keep in mind when telling your spouse you want a divorce:

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DuPage County divorce attorney

It does not matter if you were married for two years or 20 years -- getting a divorce is a painful and demanding process no matter how long you were together. When you get married, you plan to spend the rest of your life with that person and perhaps raise a family together. A divorce causes you to undergo major life changes, losing your companion, lover, co-parent, and friend. A divorce can also cause you to undergo a great deal of stress, as divorce almost always causes a restructuring of the housing arrangements, household responsibilities, and finances. If you have recently begun the Illinois divorce process, you should speak with a knowledgeable Illinois divorce lawyer who can help alleviate some of that stress by taking care of the legal details. 

Coping Strategies

Dealing with a divorce can feel extremely draining, both emotionally and financially. Fortunately, there are certain things you can do to help you cope with the stress of a divorce. These include:

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