One of the most difficult decisions you may ever be faced with is determining when the time is right for a divorce. All couples go through periods of being unhappy, but when it becomes a frequent occurrence, you may begin to wonder whether or not you would be happier alone.  In most cases, there is some form of resentment during the divorce, whether it is about a specific issue, or the divorce itself. In many cases, this can lead to mistrust. Even though you are ending your relationship, there are many things that require a level of trust during a divorce, with the most important of them being the financial side of things. Is your spouse being honest and open about his or her assets? If you feel they are not being honest and you are worried about not receiving your fair share of the marital estate, the discovery process can be used to ensure that property issues are settled fairly.

Tools You Can Utilize During Discovery

When you begin the divorce process your first step is to try and come to an agreement on

Many divorced individuals reported the conversation of asking for divorce as one of the most stressful conversations they have ever had. When you ask your spouse for a divorce, you are essentially telling your spouse that you are no longer in love with them, which can be hard for anyone to hear. Breaking the news of divorce can become even more difficult if you have children. Even though a divorce is an adult problem, children are often caught in the middle of the turmoil. The initial conversation you have with your child about your divorce can set the stage for how they will cope with the divorce throughout the process. When you go to have that conversation with your child, here are a few tips to use:

Act as a United Front With Your Spouse 

Even though it may be the last thing you want to do, you and your spouse should act as a team when you have this conversation with your children. You should break the news of your divorce when both of you are together and all of your children are present. Work out and agree on what you will say beforehand so you can avoid any emotionally fueled or impulsive remarks.

Explain the Situation to Your Children in Words They Understand

Your child will want to know why you are getting a divorce, and it is your job as a parent to explain it to them in a way that they will comprehend. As an adult, you understand the complexities surrounding the divorce, but your child(ren) will not and will question why mom and dad do not love each other anymore. The information that you tell your child will depend on their age and ability to understand. Obviously, younger children will suffice with simpler information, while older children will naturally want to know more.

There are dozens of things that you and your spouse will have to agree upon before you can finalize your divorce agreement. Some of the most contentious issues throughout many divorces are those dealing with two notorious topics -- finances and children. Things such as property division and child custody have the potential to turn a mildly agreeable divorce into one that is fueled by strong emotions, rather than reason. Even after you have come to a consensus, nothing is set in stone. Under certain circumstances, you may need to petition the court to modify your divorce agreement. One of the most common reasons for doing this is a remarriage by either spouse.

Remarriage and Child Custody

When it comes to child custody issues, such as parenting time and parental responsibilities, the remarriage of either parent can create the potential need to change the parenting time order or child support order. In nearly all cases, the child support order will likely never be terminated, but there is a possibility that the monthly amount could change. In Illinois, all child-related decisions are made using the child’s best interests. This means in a remarriage scenario, the actions taken are very situational depending on the family’s circumstances.

When it comes to choosing a process for getting a divorce, there is no one right or wrong answer for everyone. Some couples disagree on major issues such as property division and child custody so harshly that they end up stuck in hostile litigation, putting unnecessary stress on the whole family. Alternative dispute resolutions, such as mediation and collaborative law, can both provide a solution to divorce litigation and allow couples to settle their divorce outside of the courtroom. However, there are differences between the two methods. Choosing a process for getting a divorce is a very situational and personal decision that can be affected by many factors. Choosing a method that fits your family’s situation can save you a lot of stress in the long run.

Understanding Divorce Mediation

During divorce mediation, the couple works with a neutral, third-party mediator who helps them come to agreements on important topics that they disagree on. The mediator does not take the side of one spouse and does not try to influence either spouse’s decision in any way. The mediator may offer opinions and suggestions during the negotiations, but his or her main job is to act as an intermediary for the couple.

Divorce is a difficult topic for everyone to stomach. For adults, divorce can be unpleasant to talk about and distressing for the couple who is actually going through the divorce. When you add children into the picture, it can become a much more delicate situation to handle. For children, being in the middle of their parents going through a divorce can be scary and unnerving. Many parents worry about how their kids will cope with their divorce, but children tend to be more resilient than we give them credit for. Studies have shown that children tend to grow up to lead happy and healthy lives as long as their parents did not subject them to regular conflict. There are many things that you can do as a parent to help your children through this difficult time in both of your lives. 

Tips for Easing the Transition

Here are a few things you can do to help your child cope with the difficulties that can come with your divorce: