When you get a divorce in Illinois, there are various things that must be taken care of before you can finalize the divorce. One of the issues that can have a huge impact on your life is the property division process. Many couples have some form of disagreement about property issues, but most are so busy arguing over their assets that they forget that they must also determine what they will do with their debts. Even though it may not be the most fun topic to talk about, all of your marital debts will also have to be included in your property settlement. The easiest way to deal with debt during divorce is to not have debt at all, but that is not feasible for many couples. Most couples will end up bringing some form of debt to the divorce that will need to be allocated.

Classifying Debt During Your Divorce

One of the first things you do when you begin the asset division process is to gather all of your information pertaining to your finances. Knowing the type of debt you have that needs to be divided will help you determine how it will be handled. Secured debt is any debt that you have that has physical property attached to it. For example, the most common types of secured debt that couples have are mortgages and auto loans. If one of you wants to keep either the vehicle or the house, you will have to refinance the debt under that spouse’s name. On the other hand, unsecured debt is debt that is not attached to a specific piece of physical property. The most common type of unsecured debt is credit card debt. Credit card debt can be easily transferred between accounts, so the balance or part of a balance on a credit card can usually be transferred to a new account in only one spouse’s name.

For couples who are able to complete their divorce in a quick manner with little conflict, it is a huge accomplishment. In many cases, couples are not on the same page with one another when they begin their divorce. While it is possible to go through a divorce with a contentious spouse, it will likely take much longer than an uncontested divorce and would involve much more stress and strife than is needed. However, the majority of couples do not have a choice on whether or not they get divorced from an agreeable or combative spouse. When children are involved, especially, steps should be taken to ensure that you are reducing your divorce stress as much as possible.

How to Lower Divorce Stress

Conflict during divorce can not only provide you with undue frustration, but it can also cause long-term effects on your children. Studies have shown that children whose parents take part in divorces riddled with conflict typically face issues later in life, such as intimacy issues or even difficulty regulating their emotions. Here are a few ways you can help keep your divorce stress to a minimum:

• Examine your method for divorce. There are various ways you can complete a divorce. In a traditional divorce, litigation is usually used and may or may not involve going to trial. In most divorce cases today, though, some form of alternative dispute resolution is used, such as the collaborative process or mediation. Alternative dispute resolutions can be extremely helpful in allowing you and your spouse to get divorced on your terms, which may help minimize any conflict you face.

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Not all divorces end in a peaceful manner. Sometimes the movies and television shows are accurate with their depiction of divorce and how people can act throughout the process. In some divorces, peace is simply not an option and the couple cannot even get along enough to discuss or agree on issues related to their divorce. In these highly-contested divorces, child-related issues can also be a sore subject. Many times, parents will attempt to use their children to their advantage to try to hurt the other parent. However, this can be extremely toxic and emotionally damaging to the child. Parents who cannot get along during the divorce will also not likely be able to get along after the divorce. However, when you have children together, there will always be a certain degree of communication and interaction that will be required. Co-parenting can provide many challenges for parents who do not get along with one another, but “parallel parenting” can be a helpful alternative.  

What is Parallel Parenting?

Traditional co-parenting involves both parents working together to help raise the child. However, in situations in which the parents are unable to cooperate with one another, parallel parenting may be better suited for them. Parallel parenting is simply co-parenting from a distance. The idea behind parallel parenting is to limit the interaction between the parents, that way there is less of a chance that toxic behavior will be present. 

Benefits of Parallel Parenting

Many people have touted the benefits of utilizing a parallel parenting style after a divorce that involved a lot of conflict. One of the main benefits of parallel parenting is that it reduces the chance for conflict to occur. Conflict -- especially between parents -- can be emotionally damaging for children. Children feel safer when they are in an environment that does not have a lot of conflict. The absence of conflict can help your children immensely when it comes to coping with the divorce.

There is more than one method for getting a divorce. Traditionally, getting a divorce meant you and your spouse both needed to go out and hire attorneys, attempt to negotiate your divorce issues and then end up either settling instead or taking the case to court to have a judge decide your fate. In today’s world, alternative methods of divorce have been gaining popularity, like divorce mediation and collaborative divorce. Divorce mediation is a process that allows you and your spouse to use an arbitrator to help you make important decisions about your divorce. For many couples, mediated divorce can prove to be helpful, as it provides a variety of benefits and advantages over a traditional litigated divorce.

Advantages of Mediation

Getting a divorce is a significant and important point in your life. The decisions that you make during your divorce can be life-changing, which is why you must give your divorce the attention that it deserves and choose the best process for your family. Mediation is a good option for many couples -- and for many reasons. Some of the benefits that mediation provides include:

• Providing a quicker divorce option. Mediation allows you and your spouse to complete your divorce at your own pace. When you get a litigated divorce, you are at the mercy of the court schedule. Divorce mediation allows you to get the process over much quicker than litigated divorces.

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It is not uncommon for divorcing couples to disagree on matters that they must settle during a divorce, but when those issues involve decisions that affect their children, the matter is suddenly more serious. Studies have shown that conflict, whether during marriage or divorce, can cause harmful, long-term effects, such as low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, and even less stability in their own romantic relationships. When parents cannot come to an agreement on child-related issues during a divorce, a judge will make the determination. But a judge does not know anything about your family beyond what he or she has observed in the courtroom. To help them better understand the dynamics of the situation and make an informed decision, they may appoint a guardian ad litem (GAL) to your case.

What is a GAL?

According to Illinois laws, a guardian ad litem is an attorney who is appointed to a case to determine what is in the best interest of the child. Their job is to investigate the family situation and make reports pertaining to whatever the case’s contested issues may be, which often include the allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time, visitation, and/or child support. Because of this, the GAL is often referred to as the “eyes and ears” of the court. 

How a GAL Can Help

There are many benefits to working with a GAL, especially when an agreement cannot be reached with your spouse. A GAL will conduct a full investigation into your family and the situations surrounding the disagreement. To do this, the GAL will do things like:

While the overall divorce rate is decreasing in the United States, the divorce rate for adults over the age of 50 is actually still rising. According to the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate for adults 50 and older nearly doubled since the 1990s, while the divorce rate for adults 65 and older has nearly tripled in the same time period. Older adults who divorce face many different and often more difficult challenges than younger couples, which may also be why research tends to show that divorce also affects older adults more than younger adults. Going through the divorce process can be arduous at any age, but it can be especially difficult for adults who are over the age of 50. Here are a few things that may help ease the stress and strain of the divorce process when you are an older adult:

1. Remember to Take Care of Yourself

According to some studies, adults who are over the age of 50 and who have gone through a gray divorce report higher levels of depression than adults over the age of 50 whose spouses have died. Going through a divorce later in life can be hard mentally and emotionally, so it is important to practice self-care throughout and after the divorce. Drink enough water, get enough sleep and try to stay active to keep yourself feeling your best.

One of the most difficult decisions you may ever be faced with is determining when the time is right for a divorce. All couples go through periods of being unhappy, but when it becomes a frequent occurrence, you may begin to wonder whether or not you would be happier alone.  In most cases, there is some form of resentment during the divorce, whether it is about a specific issue, or the divorce itself. In many cases, this can lead to mistrust. Even though you are ending your relationship, there are many things that require a level of trust during a divorce, with the most important of them being the financial side of things. Is your spouse being honest and open about his or her assets? If you feel they are not being honest and you are worried about not receiving your fair share of the marital estate, the discovery process can be used to ensure that property issues are settled fairly.

Tools You Can Utilize During Discovery

When you begin the divorce process your first step is to try and come to an agreement on

Many divorced individuals reported the conversation of asking for divorce as one of the most stressful conversations they have ever had. When you ask your spouse for a divorce, you are essentially telling your spouse that you are no longer in love with them, which can be hard for anyone to hear. Breaking the news of divorce can become even more difficult if you have children. Even though a divorce is an adult problem, children are often caught in the middle of the turmoil. The initial conversation you have with your child about your divorce can set the stage for how they will cope with the divorce throughout the process. When you go to have that conversation with your child, here are a few tips to use:

Act as a United Front With Your Spouse 

Even though it may be the last thing you want to do, you and your spouse should act as a team when you have this conversation with your children. You should break the news of your divorce when both of you are together and all of your children are present. Work out and agree on what you will say beforehand so you can avoid any emotionally fueled or impulsive remarks.

Explain the Situation to Your Children in Words They Understand

Your child will want to know why you are getting a divorce, and it is your job as a parent to explain it to them in a way that they will comprehend. As an adult, you understand the complexities surrounding the divorce, but your child(ren) will not and will question why mom and dad do not love each other anymore. The information that you tell your child will depend on their age and ability to understand. Obviously, younger children will suffice with simpler information, while older children will naturally want to know more.

Most people in today’s world would agree that raising a child is the job of both parents, rather than just one. However, when the parents are not together because of divorce or another reason, raising a child can become complicated, especially as it relates to the financial side of things. Raising a child is not cheap. According to the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), parents spend, on average, approximately $233,610 to raise each child through age 17. Even though the living arrangements likely place the child with one parent for the majority of the time, the other parent will still be required to financially contribute to the child’s upbringing through child support payments.

Child Expenses That Should Be Included

The monthly child support payments are calculated in the same way for everyone, by using a standardized formula set forth in the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA). The formula takes into account certain factors from both parents, such as income and the amount of parenting time each parent has and produces an amount that is usually paid by the parent with the least amount of parenting time to the parent with the most parenting time. Child support is intended to be used for the majority of the child’s needs, such as food and clothing, but there are other expenses that come up that your child’s other parent is also responsible for helping with, such as the following:

There are dozens of things that you and your spouse will have to agree upon before you can finalize your divorce agreement. Some of the most contentious issues throughout many divorces are those dealing with two notorious topics -- finances and children. Things such as property division and child custody have the potential to turn a mildly agreeable divorce into one that is fueled by strong emotions, rather than reason. Even after you have come to a consensus, nothing is set in stone. Under certain circumstances, you may need to petition the court to modify your divorce agreement. One of the most common reasons for doing this is a remarriage by either spouse.

Remarriage and Child Custody

When it comes to child custody issues, such as parenting time and parental responsibilities, the remarriage of either parent can create the potential need to change the parenting time order or child support order. In nearly all cases, the child support order will likely never be terminated, but there is a possibility that the monthly amount could change. In Illinois, all child-related decisions are made using the child’s best interests. This means in a remarriage scenario, the actions taken are very situational depending on the family’s circumstances.

When it comes to choosing a process for getting a divorce, there is no one right or wrong answer for everyone. Some couples disagree on major issues such as property division and child custody so harshly that they end up stuck in hostile litigation, putting unnecessary stress on the whole family. Alternative dispute resolutions, such as mediation and collaborative law, can both provide a solution to divorce litigation and allow couples to settle their divorce outside of the courtroom. However, there are differences between the two methods. Choosing a process for getting a divorce is a very situational and personal decision that can be affected by many factors. Choosing a method that fits your family’s situation can save you a lot of stress in the long run.

Understanding Divorce Mediation

During divorce mediation, the couple works with a neutral, third-party mediator who helps them come to agreements on important topics that they disagree on. The mediator does not take the side of one spouse and does not try to influence either spouse’s decision in any way. The mediator may offer opinions and suggestions during the negotiations, but his or her main job is to act as an intermediary for the couple.

In divorce cases that involve children in Illinois, one of the issues that must be addressed is child support. In Illinois, the financial duty of raising a child is not the responsibility of solely the custodial parent -- both parents have a legal obligation to financially provide for their children. Typically, the parent with the least amount of parenting time will pay the other parent support each month until the child’s 18th birthday or until they graduate from high school, whichever comes later. The amount of child support that each parent is responsible for is determined by using a formula that takes into account both parents’ incomes and parenting time shares. Over time, the factors used in that equation or your life circumstances may change and the amount of child support currently being paid may no longer be sufficient. Fortunately, it is possible to modify your support order in Illinois.

Common Significant Changes in Circumstances

There are only three reasons why a child support order is permitted to be modified: Either parent can demonstrate that there has been a significant change in circumstances, the support order has been found to deviate from the support guidelines, or the child’s healthcare needs have changed. The most common reason, however, for child support modifications tends to be significant changes in circumstances. Some of the most common changes can include:

Divorce is a difficult topic for everyone to stomach. For adults, divorce can be unpleasant to talk about and distressing for the couple who is actually going through the divorce. When you add children into the picture, it can become a much more delicate situation to handle. For children, being in the middle of their parents going through a divorce can be scary and unnerving. Many parents worry about how their kids will cope with their divorce, but children tend to be more resilient than we give them credit for. Studies have shown that children tend to grow up to lead happy and healthy lives as long as their parents did not subject them to regular conflict. There are many things that you can do as a parent to help your children through this difficult time in both of your lives. 

Tips for Easing the Transition

Here are a few things you can do to help your child cope with the difficulties that can come with your divorce:

Divorce is one of the hardest things a person will ever go through. While it presents personal challenges, divorce is a legal process and is governed by many different laws. When getting a divorce, not everyone understands these laws and therefore, they make mistakes that greatly affect their case. An experienced divorce attorney can help people avoid these mistakes, and provide sound legal advice for anyone who is ending their marriage.

Choosing the Wrong Type of Divorce

People going through a divorce often envision a costly and lengthy battle that takes place in a courtroom. However, that is not the only way to get a divorce today. In Illinois, couples can enter mediation or the collaborative process, both of which can greatly reduce the conflict of divorce and give you more control over the process.

In Illinois, there is such a thing as the simplified joint marriage resolution procedure, or simple divorce, commonly referred to as an uncontested divorce. However, many couples opt to litigate their divorces since there are usually some or many things that require negotiations, including property and debt. When these contested divorces include added complications, such as major concerns about children, high-value assets, and business ownership, they are considered complex divorces. In general, the following five concerns could make your divorce far more of a complex divorce compared to a simple divorce or typical divorce.

5 Issues That Can Complicate Your Divorce and Make it Complex

1. Valuable Assets—High-asset divorces might include high-value property, collector’s items, or accounts, among other things. In those cases, dividing the property takes on a heightened sense of financial substance by its sheer volume. Big-ticket items can include boats and million-dollar houses to heirlooms and other valuable items. In addition, retirement accounts and pensions as well as major investments and banking accounts may all require forensic accounting to get to the fairest and equitable decision during such a complex divorce.

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When it comes to divorce, there are many issues that have the potential to cause quite a bit of conflict between the two individuals involved in this divorce. From property division to child support, these issues appear in nearly every Illinois divorce case. However, the issues that have the most potential to cause an argument for many couples are those that have to deal with the children. Creating a parenting plan can be a long and daunting process for parents who do not get along, but parents are typically much happier and have a better chance of sticking to the parenting plan when they are able to negotiate the terms of said agreement amongst themselves. Although this is easier said than done, there are ways to achieve a positive outcome for everyone involved.

Flexibility Is Key

For some couples, getting along long enough to negotiate a parenting plan is a tall order. Here are a few tips that can help you negotiate a parenting plan agreement with your ex:

Much like our views about many other things in society, our opinions of the divorce process can look different to everyone depending on the circumstances surrounding your case. There are many ways you could go about getting a divorce in Illinois -- the traditional litigated way, in which you may end up in front of a judge in a courtroom and through the collaborative method, which requires cooperation between spouses, among others. In particularly contentious divorces that are relatively “simple” in nature, the spouses may decide to agree on the divorce settlement because they just want the process to be over. For some couples, Illinois’ joint simplified dissolution procedure could be the answer to a quick, relatively simple, and low-stress solution.

Understanding Illinois’ Joint Simplified Dissolution

If you are asking the judge to grant you and your spouse a joint simplified dissolution of marriage, you are basically asking for an uncontested divorce. In an uncontested divorce, both spouses must agree on all major issues in the divorce, including property division, spousal maintenance, and determining who is responsible for which debts, among others. However, when it comes to a joint simplified dissolution specifically, there are certain requirements you must meet before you can file.

If you are like the majority of people, divorce is the absolute last thing on your mind when you are standing at the altar, ready to say, “I do.” Unfortunately, statistics show that a fair amount of marriages still do end in divorces. According to data from the National Survey of Family Growth, an estimated 22 percent of first marriages will experience divorce or separation within the first five years of the marriage. That chance increases the longer you are married, with an estimated 53 percent of first marriages ending in divorce or separation within 20 years of marriage. A divorce involves many areas of your life, with one of the biggest aspects being finances. Often, an area of contention between spouses is how property will be divided, which is why it is recommended that you consult with an Illinois property division attorney to ensure you know your rights.

Marital and Nonmarital Property

Before anything is determined or allocated, the first distinction that will be made about your property is which of it is actually subject to division. Unlike other states, Illinois is not a community property state, but rather functions on the idea of an equitable division of assets when it comes time to divorce. As such, the state makes a distinction between nonmarital property, which is not subject to division, and marital property, which is subject to division.

A common concern that parents have when they get divorced (or separate from one another if they were never married) is whether or not they will each be able to financially support their child, now that the other’s finances are no longer in the picture. Both parents are obligated to provide financial support for their child, even if they share custody of the child, which is where child support comes into play. A child support amount can be agreed upon by the parents, but the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA) puts forth guidelines as to the minimum calculations for the support that each child is entitled to. It is important for you to understand how these calculations work, especially if you are getting a divorce in Illinois and you and your spouse have children together.

Finding Your Basic Support Obligation

First, your attorney will perform the calculations necessary to figure out how much the basic support obligation is for your child every month. The IMDMA states that this is determined by taking both you and the other parent’s monthly net income and adding them together. Once you have the sum of both of your monthly net incomes, you can then find the corresponding row with your income and the corresponding column with the number of children you have on the income shares schedule provided by Illinois Child Support Services. For example, two parents who have a monthly net income of $8,400 with two children would have a monthly support obligation of $1,950. 

When you own your own business, that business is your livelihood. For many small business owners, their business is like a baby they take great pride in producing, nurturing, and growing. However, all of that growth and success is jeopardized if you or your spouse seeks a divorce. Even if your spouse was never necessarily involved in the functions of the business, there is a possibility that he or she is entitled to a portion of the business’s value simply because of your marital status. Financial decisions made during your divorce can affect you for the rest of your life, so you should consult with a lawyer before you do anything. A skilled Illinois asset division and business valuation attorney can help you determine how you should handle your business when you are going through a divorce.

What to Do With Your Business

One of the most difficult decisions you will face during your divorce is determining what to do with your business. Typically, there are three options that are available to you: You can buy out your spouse’s share of the business and retain full ownership, sell the business and split the profits as is seen fit, or you can continue to co-own the business. There is no one right answer to what you should do; each family’s situation is different, so each solution will also be different.