Originally published: May 11, 2020 -- Updated: August 25, 2021

UPDATE: Parents who have experienced financial issues that have affected their ability to pay child support will want to take the correct steps to avoid the issues described below. This has been a major concern for many parents during the COVID-19 pandemic, and those who have lost their jobs or who have experienced health issues that have affected the income they are able to earn will want to make sure they take the proper measures to avoid penalties for failing to meet their financial obligations.

Family courts will often recognize financial hardship experienced by parents, but unless a parent takes action to inform the court of these issues, they will be required to follow the terms of their child support order. This means they must continue making monthly payments, and in addition to making up any missed payments, they may also be required to pay interest on these past-due amounts. To avoid these issues, a parent can file a petition for a modification of their child support obligations as soon as they have experienced financial issues that affect their ability to pay. While the court may not immediately grant a request for modification, any modifications that are made may be retroactive to the date the modification request was filed. 

While a divorce can lead to financial difficulties for both spouses, there are some situations where one party may struggle to support themselves or maintain their standard of living on their own. If there is a large difference between the incomes earned by divorcing spouses, or if one spouse is a stay-at-home parent who is not currently working, a divorce court judge may decide that spousal maintenance would be appropriate. This form of support, which is commonly known as alimony, will usually be paid for a temporary period following a couple’s divorce, and it is meant to help the party who earns a lower income meet their needs while also providing them with the means to obtain the education or training they need to return to work or increase the income that they are able to earn so that they will be able to support themselves. Spouses who may pay or receive spousal maintenance will want to be sure to understand how these payments will be calculated.

Spousal Support Calculations and Examples

If a judge determines that spousal support is needed, Illinois law uses a specific formula to calculate the amount that will be paid. This formula applies in cases where a couple’s total gross income per year is below $500,000. For those who earn more than that amount on an annual basis, a judge may order an amount of support that would be appropriate based on the facts and circumstances of the case.

The statutory formula takes one-third (33 and 1/3 percent) of the payor’s net annual income and subtracts one-fourth (25 percent) of the payee’s net annual income. The resulting amount may be paid on an annual basis, or it may be divided by 12 and paid on a monthly basis. However, when the amount of spousal maintenance is added to the payee’s net income, the result cannot be higher than 40 percent of the combined net annual income earned by the parties.

The divorce process can be difficult for parents and children. Even if it would not be healthy for parents to stay together, and a breakup will help ensure that children will not be exposed to arguments and conflict between parents, children are likely to struggle with the changes they will experience in their lives. Both parents and children may experience strong emotions during the divorce process, including anger, sadness, guilt, betrayal, and anxiety about the future. Parents will want to help their children work through these feelings in a healthy way while providing emotional support and reassurance. Unfortunately, some parents choose to take advantage of their children’s strong emotions and use them as a weapon against their former partner. This is known as parental alienation, and parents will want to understand how to recognize this behavior and the steps they can take to address the issue.

Signs That May Indicate Parental Alienation

Parental alienation involves a parent attempting to harm their children’s relationship with the other parent, such as by influencing the children’s feelings about the other parent, convincing them to choose sides in disputes between parents, or making them feel like they should not spend time with the other parent. In some cases, parental alienation may be committed unintentionally, but in others, it can be a deliberate strategy used with the intent of influencing the outcome of a child custody dispute.

Some signs of parental alienation include:

During the divorce process, spouses will need to address multiple types of financial issues. Many of these issues will be related to the division of marital property, in which spouses must determine how all of the assets and debts they acquired during their marriage will be allocated. While dividing some types of property may be a straightforward process, a variety of complex considerations may arise when addressing assets such as retirement savings and benefits. A qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) may need to be created to ensure that these assets are divided properly, and an experienced family law attorney can make sure this type of order is created and executed correctly.

Benefits of Using a QDRO

Spouses will often save money in retirement accounts, including 401(k) accounts provided through an employer or individual retirement accounts (IRAs). Depending on the decisions made during the property division process, the funds in an account may be divided between the parties. However, if the proper procedures are not followed, withdrawing funds from an account before the account holder reaches the age of retirement can result in penalties, and taxes may also apply to these withdrawals.

Early withdrawal penalties and taxes can be avoided through the use of a QDRO, which is a court order that instructs the administrator of a retirement plan to distribute funds to someone other than the account holder. A QDRO may state that a specific dollar amount or a percentage of the funds in an account should be withdrawn and transferred to the account holder’s ex-spouse. In addition to allowing funds to be transferred without incurring penalties, taxes will not apply if the recipient rolls the funds over into a retirement account in their own name.

If you are getting a divorce from your spouse, it is important to learn about all of your options. An alternative resolution option many divorcing couples find beneficial is mediation. The mediation process involves working with a trained mediator to negotiate various issues in your divorce, from child custody to division of assets. Mediation may help you and your spouse reach an agreement and avoid the often stressful process of divorce litigation. However, mediation is not right for everyone. 

Advantages of Mediation

During mediation sessions, you and your spouse will sit down in a quiet room and try to come to an agreement on how your divorce matters will be dealt with. Rather than providing legal advice, a mediator will facilitate the discussion and help you stay focused on the issues at hand. Here are several benefits of mediation:

If you and your divorcing spouse have children together, you are required to create a parenting plan that details how the two of you will continue to care for them after you are separated. Some of the information needed in this plan includes transportation arrangements, a parenting time schedule, and an allocation of parental responsibilites. However, matters can get complicated if you and the other parent cannot agree on a plan.

What Will Occur If and Your Spouse Cannot Come to an Agreement

Sometimes parents cannot seem to agree on a child custody arrangement. In this situation, a judge may order parents to go to mediation. During a mediation session, a court-appointed mediator will sit down with both parents and facilitate a discussion about the issues they disagree on. A mediator will not make decisions for either parent. Instead, he or she will attempt to help them come to a compromise they can both live with.

It is important to come to mediation with an open mind. If you are willing to hear the other parent and mediator’s viewpoints, you may be more likely to reach an agreement quicker. Before your mediation session, write down your proposals in a notebook so that you do not forget to bring them up. When coming up with your proposals, be sure that they reflect your child’s needs rather than your own.

Going through a divorce is never easy. If your spouse makes allegations of abuse against you, it can make the process even more stressful. You may understandably be upset that your spouse is making up horrible lies about you and worry that the allegations will negatively affect the outcome of divorce or child custody proceedings. If you have found yourself in this situation, it is important to maintain your composure and take the necessary steps to rectify the situation.

How False Allegations Can Affect Your Divorce

Family law judges take accusations of domestic violence or abuse very seriously. A judge may order an emergency order of protection that requires you to leave your home or prohibits you from contacting your spouse and children.

Because change is hard on children, Illinois courts typically try to maintain the “status quo” in child-related legal matters. Consequently, an order of protection may give your spouse an advantage in your custody case. Since your kids will be with your spouse during the protection period, your spouse may argue that granting joint custody could disrupt their routines. 

In a perfect world, your divorce would get settled quickly and not involve any complications. Unfortunately, however, there are several matters that can complicate your Illinois divorce, including a personal injury settlement. If you are waiting for your personal injury claim to settle while getting a divorce, you should educate yourself on how your settlement may be divided between you and your spouse.

Defining Marital Property in Illinois

In the state of Illinois, marital property refers to any assets acquired during a marriage. There are particular types of property that are non-marital, such as items received as a gift or inheritance to one spouse, property obtained before the marriage, property obtained after legal separation, legal judgments given to one spouse, and assets excluded from marital property by mutual agreement. One might assume that personal injury settlements would be considered non-marital property in a divorce. However, in the state of Illinois, personal injury settlements, workers’ compensation benefits and disability benefits can be, and often are, part of the marital estate.

Perhaps the most important element in determining whether a personal injury settlement should be considered in a divorce is the date of the incident that caused the injury. For example, if you were injured in a slip and fall accident before you got married, any compensation for your losses would be considered non-marital--even if you receive the settlement during your marriage. 

If you have been unhappy in your marriage for a long time, you may have decided to file for divorce. While the decision may not have come easy, you knew it was a necessary one. However, what if you are faced with the dilemma that your spouse refuses to sign the papers. This can definitely prolong the process and make it more stressful, but it is still possible to get a divorce.

Common Reasons Why Spouses Do not Sign Divorce Papers

It is frustrating when a spouse refuses to sign divorce papers, but it can and does occur. Some spouses may be religiously opposed to divorce, while others feel that you cannot get divorced unless both spouses sign the documents. In other situations, spouses may feel so bitter that they were served with papers that they want to retaliate.  

A divorce is stressful enough on its own. When you and your spouse are expecting a child, it can make matters even more complicated. In addition to dealing with legal paperwork and feelings of hurt and resentment, you are facing the hormonal changes associated with pregnancy. If you have plans to get divorced, you should consult an Illinois divorce attorney promptly.

Can You Get Divorced in Illinois While Pregnant?

In Illinois, there are no laws that prohibit you from divorcing your spouse because you are pregnant. However, it is important to understand that certain issues can still arise. For one thing, you will not be able to get a simplified divorce. If you are expecting a child, you can anticipate proceedings to take longer to complete.

There is also the matter of paternity. If you become pregnant while married, it is generally assumed that the husband is the father. However, if there is a chance that the father could be someone else, you will have to order DNA testing to establish who is actually the biological father. Once paternity is determined, both biological parents will have parental rights to the child.

As with many life events, change is inevitable during and after a divorce. For families with children, divorce can be especially stressful. Children may experience difficulties since their entire life is being turned upside down. Small things, like who will be there to tuck them in at night, can be a source of great stress and discomfort for children when regular patterns change suddenly. As a parent, there are certain things that you can do to help your children through this time of transition while also easing some of your own stress as you learn how to co-parent your children with your ex-spouse. 

Follow Your Parenting Plan

One of the easiest ways to keep your co-parenting relationship positive is to obey the terms of your parenting plan. Before you can finalize your divorce, you will be required to file a parenting plan with the court that contains a variety of information about how you and your spouse will raise your children. If you both make it a point to follow your parenting plan, there will be less of a chance that a disagreement or fight will occur over something.

Even though no two divorces are exactly the same, most divorces follow a similar pattern. Most divorces begin when one spouse files a petition for divorce, prompting the other spouse to file a response. The divorce is not final until you and your spouse both appear before the judge to receive your final decree, which officially divorces you from your spouse. However, this process does not happen overnight. Sometimes, it can take months or even years to complete a divorce. In the meantime, you may be wondering what you are supposed to do regarding parenting time or even child support, if your spouse no longer lives with you. Thankfully, this is the exact reason temporary orders exist for Illinois divorces.

Types of Remedies in Temporary Orders

Many times, temporary orders that are requested during a divorce have to do with financial issues such as support, however, there are various issues that temporary orders can address during a divorce. If you request orders that only last the duration of the divorce, they may include:

• Temporary spousal maintenance and/or child support: One of the biggest reasons people file temporary orders while they are going through the divorce process is to establish their right to spousal maintenance and/or child support. You can ask the judge to make a preliminary determination on amounts that are needed for you to run your household and support your children while you are going through the divorce.

  ...

When you get a divorce in Illinois, there are various things that must be taken care of before you can finalize the divorce. One of the issues that can have a huge impact on your life is the property division process. Many couples have some form of disagreement about property issues, but most are so busy arguing over their assets that they forget that they must also determine what they will do with their debts. Even though it may not be the most fun topic to talk about, all of your marital debts will also have to be included in your property settlement. The easiest way to deal with debt during divorce is to not have debt at all, but that is not feasible for many couples. Most couples will end up bringing some form of debt to the divorce that will need to be allocated.

Classifying Debt During Your Divorce

One of the first things you do when you begin the asset division process is to gather all of your information pertaining to your finances. Knowing the type of debt you have that needs to be divided will help you determine how it will be handled. Secured debt is any debt that you have that has physical property attached to it. For example, the most common types of secured debt that couples have are mortgages and auto loans. If one of you wants to keep either the vehicle or the house, you will have to refinance the debt under that spouse’s name. On the other hand, unsecured debt is debt that is not attached to a specific piece of physical property. The most common type of unsecured debt is credit card debt. Credit card debt can be easily transferred between accounts, so the balance or part of a balance on a credit card can usually be transferred to a new account in only one spouse’s name.

For couples who are able to complete their divorce in a quick manner with little conflict, it is a huge accomplishment. In many cases, couples are not on the same page with one another when they begin their divorce. While it is possible to go through a divorce with a contentious spouse, it will likely take much longer than an uncontested divorce and would involve much more stress and strife than is needed. However, the majority of couples do not have a choice on whether or not they get divorced from an agreeable or combative spouse. When children are involved, especially, steps should be taken to ensure that you are reducing your divorce stress as much as possible.

How to Lower Divorce Stress

Conflict during divorce can not only provide you with undue frustration, but it can also cause long-term effects on your children. Studies have shown that children whose parents take part in divorces riddled with conflict typically face issues later in life, such as intimacy issues or even difficulty regulating their emotions. Here are a few ways you can help keep your divorce stress to a minimum:

• Examine your method for divorce. There are various ways you can complete a divorce. In a traditional divorce, litigation is usually used and may or may not involve going to trial. In most divorce cases today, though, some form of alternative dispute resolution is used, such as the collaborative process or mediation. Alternative dispute resolutions can be extremely helpful in allowing you and your spouse to get divorced on your terms, which may help minimize any conflict you face.

  ...

Not all divorces end in a peaceful manner. Sometimes the movies and television shows are accurate with their depiction of divorce and how people can act throughout the process. In some divorces, peace is simply not an option and the couple cannot even get along enough to discuss or agree on issues related to their divorce. In these highly-contested divorces, child-related issues can also be a sore subject. Many times, parents will attempt to use their children to their advantage to try to hurt the other parent. However, this can be extremely toxic and emotionally damaging to the child. Parents who cannot get along during the divorce will also not likely be able to get along after the divorce. However, when you have children together, there will always be a certain degree of communication and interaction that will be required. Co-parenting can provide many challenges for parents who do not get along with one another, but “parallel parenting” can be a helpful alternative.  

What is Parallel Parenting?

Traditional co-parenting involves both parents working together to help raise the child. However, in situations in which the parents are unable to cooperate with one another, parallel parenting may be better suited for them. Parallel parenting is simply co-parenting from a distance. The idea behind parallel parenting is to limit the interaction between the parents, that way there is less of a chance that toxic behavior will be present. 

Benefits of Parallel Parenting

Many people have touted the benefits of utilizing a parallel parenting style after a divorce that involved a lot of conflict. One of the main benefits of parallel parenting is that it reduces the chance for conflict to occur. Conflict -- especially between parents -- can be emotionally damaging for children. Children feel safer when they are in an environment that does not have a lot of conflict. The absence of conflict can help your children immensely when it comes to coping with the divorce.

There is more than one method for getting a divorce. Traditionally, getting a divorce meant you and your spouse both needed to go out and hire attorneys, attempt to negotiate your divorce issues and then end up either settling instead or taking the case to court to have a judge decide your fate. In today’s world, alternative methods of divorce have been gaining popularity, like divorce mediation and collaborative divorce. Divorce mediation is a process that allows you and your spouse to use an arbitrator to help you make important decisions about your divorce. For many couples, mediated divorce can prove to be helpful, as it provides a variety of benefits and advantages over a traditional litigated divorce.

Advantages of Mediation

Getting a divorce is a significant and important point in your life. The decisions that you make during your divorce can be life-changing, which is why you must give your divorce the attention that it deserves and choose the best process for your family. Mediation is a good option for many couples -- and for many reasons. Some of the benefits that mediation provides include:

• Providing a quicker divorce option. Mediation allows you and your spouse to complete your divorce at your own pace. When you get a litigated divorce, you are at the mercy of the court schedule. Divorce mediation allows you to get the process over much quicker than litigated divorces.

  ...

It is not uncommon for divorcing couples to disagree on matters that they must settle during a divorce, but when those issues involve decisions that affect their children, the matter is suddenly more serious. Studies have shown that conflict, whether during marriage or divorce, can cause harmful, long-term effects, such as low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, and even less stability in their own romantic relationships. When parents cannot come to an agreement on child-related issues during a divorce, a judge will make the determination. But a judge does not know anything about your family beyond what he or she has observed in the courtroom. To help them better understand the dynamics of the situation and make an informed decision, they may appoint a guardian ad litem (GAL) to your case.

What is a GAL?

According to Illinois laws, a guardian ad litem is an attorney who is appointed to a case to determine what is in the best interest of the child. Their job is to investigate the family situation and make reports pertaining to whatever the case’s contested issues may be, which often include the allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time, visitation, and/or child support. Because of this, the GAL is often referred to as the “eyes and ears” of the court. 

How a GAL Can Help

There are many benefits to working with a GAL, especially when an agreement cannot be reached with your spouse. A GAL will conduct a full investigation into your family and the situations surrounding the disagreement. To do this, the GAL will do things like:

While the overall divorce rate is decreasing in the United States, the divorce rate for adults over the age of 50 is actually still rising. According to the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate for adults 50 and older nearly doubled since the 1990s, while the divorce rate for adults 65 and older has nearly tripled in the same time period. Older adults who divorce face many different and often more difficult challenges than younger couples, which may also be why research tends to show that divorce also affects older adults more than younger adults. Going through the divorce process can be arduous at any age, but it can be especially difficult for adults who are over the age of 50. Here are a few things that may help ease the stress and strain of the divorce process when you are an older adult:

1. Remember to Take Care of Yourself

According to some studies, adults who are over the age of 50 and who have gone through a gray divorce report higher levels of depression than adults over the age of 50 whose spouses have died. Going through a divorce later in life can be hard mentally and emotionally, so it is important to practice self-care throughout and after the divorce. Drink enough water, get enough sleep and try to stay active to keep yourself feeling your best.

One of the most difficult decisions you may ever be faced with is determining when the time is right for a divorce. All couples go through periods of being unhappy, but when it becomes a frequent occurrence, you may begin to wonder whether or not you would be happier alone.  In most cases, there is some form of resentment during the divorce, whether it is about a specific issue, or the divorce itself. In many cases, this can lead to mistrust. Even though you are ending your relationship, there are many things that require a level of trust during a divorce, with the most important of them being the financial side of things. Is your spouse being honest and open about his or her assets? If you feel they are not being honest and you are worried about not receiving your fair share of the marital estate, the discovery process can be used to ensure that property issues are settled fairly.

Tools You Can Utilize During Discovery

When you begin the divorce process your first step is to try and come to an agreement on

Many divorced individuals reported the conversation of asking for divorce as one of the most stressful conversations they have ever had. When you ask your spouse for a divorce, you are essentially telling your spouse that you are no longer in love with them, which can be hard for anyone to hear. Breaking the news of divorce can become even more difficult if you have children. Even though a divorce is an adult problem, children are often caught in the middle of the turmoil. The initial conversation you have with your child about your divorce can set the stage for how they will cope with the divorce throughout the process. When you go to have that conversation with your child, here are a few tips to use:

Act as a United Front With Your Spouse 

Even though it may be the last thing you want to do, you and your spouse should act as a team when you have this conversation with your children. You should break the news of your divorce when both of you are together and all of your children are present. Work out and agree on what you will say beforehand so you can avoid any emotionally fueled or impulsive remarks.

Explain the Situation to Your Children in Words They Understand

Your child will want to know why you are getting a divorce, and it is your job as a parent to explain it to them in a way that they will comprehend. As an adult, you understand the complexities surrounding the divorce, but your child(ren) will not and will question why mom and dad do not love each other anymore. The information that you tell your child will depend on their age and ability to understand. Obviously, younger children will suffice with simpler information, while older children will naturally want to know more.